A 5am start in London meant that by the time I’d dumped my stuff at the hotel and got to the Rijksmuseum for lunch I was hungry and slightly ratty. Grub was needed before culture.

A small wait for a table was natural enough and it’s a pleasant room to wait in the atrium of the museum. The seating is spacious and it took a leisurely amount of time before our order was taken by a different member of staff.

Drinks – two glasses of merlot – arrived and ten minutes or so later food. A beef rendang baguette for him and a veal cheek for me. The veal cheek was delicious but the mushrooms it rode in on were cold. And where were the spuds?! Or any stodge?! For €18 you get half a lunch?

Well, we polished everything off and thought at least it meant that we’d earned a big dinner (of which more later). I tried to catch the attention of the waiter. And of another waiter. And of another waiter. They were busy seating people and taking orders. I decided let’s give it five minutes and then put our coats on. We put our coats on. No reaction. We started walking to the exit. Not a turned head. We were through the exit and technically on the lam. No pursuing staff.

As a fugitive I hid out in full view in the museum for three more hours, guilt at first burning my cheeks at the first time I’d done a runner. But technically it wasn’t a runner. They just hadn’t asked us to pay.

No rating (as I didn’t pay the bill at the end)

Food Holland Restaurants Amsterdam Food Restaurant Rijksmuseum