Back in Hornsey planning a theatre project (more of that once we’ve cast it and got the venue) we wanted to try somewhere new on Hornsey High St (especially as the excellent Tomo was full up, even at 6 o’clock). I wouldn’t normally go in a completely empty restaurant (though I guess someone has to) but there was a gaggle of U**r people outside so assumed ZappZaa must be doing something right. It was when we sat down and saw that there was no booze on the menu that we realised why it might pay to eat the ZZ (I know, French speakers) chez vous. We both agreed that we could handle a break in pints during the arduous journey from the GNRT to the 3Cs and decided to plough on.

The menu has all your Thai favourites so we started with a selection of starters with some prawn crackers, washed down with home made lemonade. The starters were great – full of flavour, decent spicing on the dips that arrived with them. The lemonade lacked bite. It was at this point that the music started to take its toll.

I realise that there’s an 80s/90s revival on at the moment (in fact in this truly post-modern bollocks it’s a revival of everything all the time) but it is wise to select the best of an era. Regular readers will know that I don’t mind music but if it’s cheesy I don’t want it. And this was maximum 80s cheese. Power ballad after power ballad rained down on us like a stream of aural filth. The old guy who was serving us seemed unconcerned, though he didn’t seem your regular Elton John/Bonnie Tyler fan and so I decided to just suck it up as if I’d never been subjected to this crap before, in fact time after time on 5 hour car journeys to the North.

The mains arrived while some poodle-permed fucknut on the stereo asked us how he was supposed to live without us. In total obscurity would be my preference. The drunken duck (oh the irony was not lost) across the way looked good. My jungle curry was less curry and more a soup. Even after I’d piled a whole bowl of rice into it it was still a bit slurry curry (in terms of consistency that is, the taste was fine) and lacking in meaty bits.

I realise that there are bigger problems in the world right now but I would pay someone a good wage to get Michael Bolton out of my head. Even Elliott Smith on the headphones on the way home couldn’t remove him.

3/10 For the starters.

To see where else I’ve been click on the google map below.

Food London Food London Thai